I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
So apparently I’m into choking now
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