Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
