On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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