I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
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its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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