thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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