After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
