I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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