Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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