I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
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