he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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