3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
