I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
