Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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