Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I lost the right to judge tonight
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
