i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
