It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Nicole vs. Life
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize