ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
