Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
