Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
