That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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