I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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