Plan B is the new Plan A
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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