I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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