Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
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I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
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You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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