That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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