I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
