If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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