id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
