i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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