oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
