We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
