Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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