What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
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mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
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did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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