Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
