You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
