Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
