My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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