Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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