The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
