On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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