JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
