i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
