I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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