dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
