I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
