I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
