He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
