she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
