Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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