I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Can you bring me the toilet please
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
