the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
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