FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
