look no pants
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
