Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
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i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
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I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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