This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
