dude i'm inner monologue high
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
