FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
