She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
