finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
