I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just found puke in my bra..
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
