Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
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They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
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you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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