It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
