I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
