that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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